The Metaphysical Site

The Foundation Of Self-Esteem

In my ongoing study of human behavior I have a lot of discussions with people about self esteem and how it plays such a significant role in our lives.  Everyone knows that it’s better to have good self esteem vs. bad, yet what is amazing to me is how few people really understand what exactly self esteem actually is.  More importantly, it’s very rare to run across someone that understands where the true building blocks of good self esteem come from.  In this article I’ll explore just what makes up the foundation of good self esteem.

What Self Esteem Is Not

If you ask the average person what makes them have good self esteem and you’ll get an infinite number of answers, most of which are wrong.  You might hear someone say they have good self esteem when they feel pretty.  Another might say it’s when they make a bunch of money or when they sit in their new car.  Most people associate self esteem with surface level things such as appearance, what we own, or how much money we have.  But is that really what creates good self esteem?  Apparently not.  Afterall, the world is full of wealthy, beautiful people that have low self esteem and are miserable inside. 

Self Discipline and Self Competency

What really creates good self esteem is self discipline and self competency.  Every time you make a promise to yourself…and keep it; whether to go to the gym, do a task at work, eat or not eat a certain food…you raise your self esteem.  The contrary is true as well.  If you eat that piece of cake you know you shouldn’t, or you procrastinate a project until it’s too late to do your best…each of these lowers your self esteem because you are breaking an implied promise to yourself of what you know you should do.  This is why self discipline is a root creator of self-esteem. 

While looking pretty, being in shape, making a lot of money or driving a nice car are all fun things that you enjoy, the real pleasure comes in knowing that you exercised the self-discipline to EARN those things.  That’s the pride of self-discipline which leads to self competency which in turn leads to self-esteem. 

Think for a second of the spoiled child of a wealthy person that has been given everything but never had to earn it from his own self discipline.  He is not self competent.  Inside, as much as he might try and put on a front of self esteem in fact he is insecure because he knows what he has he has not earned.  This lack of self competency and the low self esteem that accompanies it is rampant among those that did not earn what they have and they frequently put up facades of arrogance, snobbishness or anger.  Personality flaws such as these are sure signs of low self esteem as the high self esteem, self competent person has no need for building walls of denial to hide behind.

One of the best ways to build self esteem is to have a regular workout routine.  The simple act of keeping a promise to yourself each and every day will build a foundation of self discipline that you can then use to conquer other objectives in your life.  Remember, your brain is just like a muscle in that the more you do something, it actually grows more neurons and customizes and strengthens chemical and nerve pathways to reinforce your new habits, making it easier to stick to.  This ability of the brain to change and adapt even in adulthood is called neuro-plasticity and is a great subject to know about for those seeking to pursue greater self esteem and self awareness.  For more great insight and information about this and other topics please visit SelfAwareness101.com.

About the Author

With Degrees in Film, Real Estate Finance and Development as well as Psychology, Robert Levin writes expert articles covering a broad range of issues. Some of his websites include: www.toptenmba.com,
www.MBAonline.me, www.LawDegree.me, www.SelfWorth101.com and www.TVwriter.me

What are the factors that lead a person to develop low self esteem and loss of self confidence?

Why are some people confident and have high self esteem?
Why are some people inconfident and have low self esteem?
What determines if a person develops a high self esteem or low self esteem?
How is self confidence built and is it all in the mind, of what one believes about oneself? Or is one's self image a real reflection of the reality of one's genuine abilities?

A person develops low self-confidence if they can sense that they are not liked or appreciated by other people. If you try to make friends, for example and get rejected most of the time, you are likely to lose your self-confidence.

If you try hard to pass a math test - and fail instead, your self confidence will suffer.

I believe one's self image is, in part, a reflection of one's genuine abilities. If whatever you are doing is not being accepted by others, then you are bound to question yourself.

What mental health professionals, on the other hand, seem to believe - is that self confidence is all in your head. They think that if you are not confident, that you are showing signs of a pathology of some sort. Without truly examining the negative circumstances you are experiencing in life, they think you should be taking medication or that your thoughts are somehow 'distorted.'

When someone is lacking confidence, the first thing to ask is if they are getting more negative (than positive) feedback from others.

Low Self-Esteem Can Threaten Health, Online Dating Study Finds
Low self-esteem doesn’t just impact the way people perceive negative events – it can actually take a toll on health, according to a new study co-authored by a Loyola Marymount University professor.

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